i need to attend some stress-management courses.

i guess today is one day i felt totally stress-out.
da feeling of throwing down my pen and give-up is so strong.
i cant deny Ns and Os are really a big gap.
i could hardly answer those qns.
aint surprise if i really got to treat ainsly lunch.
arrrrrrh!!! driving my nuts.
wadeva dat we all learn did not come out.
it was def qns dat we did not expected!
its... reallie so physics.... so chemistry!!
so common-sensical qns.. but yet i lack of "I-Q"
admit i am one dats not very gd wif general knowledge..

arGH! it kill-ed me. making me felt so bad.
it's more like a wake-up call for me.
when ppl like zarah tell me: U BETTA NT BE COMPLACENT!

juz bcos i did well last yr.
i cant dwell in da past achievement.
i was thinking bout the 3rd position i got last yr.
well, i guess its really tru hardwork.
if u aint gonna get ur bum moving, u shall see no fruits.
same goes to da principle i am applying now.
It's really like a wake-up call for me.
telling myself... i've got study!!!

june, july, aug, sept, oct.. my BIG day comes!!
Os is really something dat sets ur path to da future.
i dun wane to hear mum saying, pls dun waste my sch fees.
when dad told me ytd: he actually sold his car downgrading to a bike juz
for our education.
he know dat i wanted to enroll in priv sch, plus sis was in uni...
n bro soon.. in uni oso.. i was reallie moved almost to tears.

i dun want people to look down on NT students! c'mon we are ppl
wif strong dertermination. it was juz a past failure
willing to stand up again n run da race.

promise myself gonna go for a swim tmr den back to study!
really gonna push myself. it's mid-yr not Os.
juz don't repeat da same mistake as i did now.
lazzzzzeeee.... mood-less to sturrdie... yuPS!
i can encourage ppl so must i encourage myself!!!

i can do all things tru christ who strengthens me!
i am da head and not the tail.

yeah. bala wan s to work harddddd...
plz do knock on her hard...
scould her oso nvm.
juz got to get her to really study.
$3600 + $3285 for my entire 2 yrs sch fees!! haha!
not inclusive of my exam fees + miscellaneous..

kk, its a deal. i'll return my parents when i start earnning.
yupS! k la... am tired.. goin to study now..
kick me on my butt to wake me up!

1:09 am

wOO~! debate... i cant take it.
i am quite a softie..
i cant express whatever i have to say.
arrhhhh..... i hate da feeling.
am sorry, when u said:
" u miss me but i dun seem to take notice"

yup, i don't i seriously don't.
i aint liking u anymore.
i may seem evil. but i am sorry.
i'm moving on and i've got more things dat...
are yet to be done. =D

It's not a input n output thing.
dun worry i do think through.
but i aint touch anymore.
i've lost da feeling. sorry.
fell for someone else..
whom i think is who i really i want to be with.
things will be fine for you.
gals flock around you.
so yup, i aint worthy for you.

do take care. hate me if u wish to.
do well for ur paper pls.
dun like small lit stuff like dis affect u.
k? =p tC!

12:22 am

haf ya ever tod why does a sheep goes bah bahhh...
n not meh meh....?

haf ya ever tod why will da sky rain?
issit really bcos the God up dere is crying?

haf ya ever wonder why the coloud moves?

haf ya ever lye on da middle of da road before?

haf ya ever tried doing somthing totally insane...
such as after stealing someone's thing, u dump it away?
dats pyscho.

haf ya ever thought... wad if some werid ppl are reading ur bloggg?
ooo... spooky!

haf ya ever tod? while reading this entry someone is actually...
looking at u frm da back!!!

wahaha.. i was juz being really bored so i came up wif dis.

right. i dun like da idea of ppl invading my blog..
dats y i kept it quite private..
however, i felt... if u wane to really keep it private,
its reallie not easy. it's online! c'mon
ppl do get to read about how's life and everything..
well, so i come to a conclusion,
so WHAT!!! read read lor.. neway if u blog n no one reads..
den its realli dumb. haha
at least i feel it dis way.

ok, i detest gg to sch to study now.
totallly hate da feeling of studying now.
tchers are really driving us to nuts.
so wad u tcher can haf PMS.
hmmp! dun waste my sch fees by paying so much
n yet all i get is.. da sianzation feeling.
da tchers aint in gd mood.which results in:
no one is interested in listening to u!

right, today had ss paper. wooTX!
its diff la... SBQ... about north korean n south korea.
piang.. i didnt study for dat case study.
ew~ was thinking. haiyar if only i listen to da tour guide
while i was in korea.. den how nice will it be.

structured Qn: man, didnt expect to be only 2 qns choose 1.
its usually more den dat. k nvm, shan't grumble.

oh yeah. i forgot to add... yesterday i town wif alice
right, she tortured me+ my ears.
its totally a horrible sight. cos she kept gifing me cheers
on how my dad is so ' ba- la" HOT!! n yeah she brought me out to study!
however, ali is still a "blessing-in-disguise" LOL!
she bought me dis billabong cap! expensive leh!!!
she wants me to regret forever! hoe evil can she get
arh.. haha k la... admit she's a blessing in my life.
hor best frnd? lolx.. stay tune to her blog to know more info.

k la.. gotta prepare for my paper tmr.

11:25 pm

i wenta pierce my nose!!
afta i earn for it for such a long tym.
yup, neway, diff ppl got diff views
so yup. who cares.
mummy was quite unhappy, i heard
she grumble so much. tsk.

was so bored at hm juz now.
daddy was at home chekcing out his comp stuff.
i am simply bored.
den msg aliceee n call for s.o.s help.
she den told me they are planning to go watch movie.
So, wenta watch house of wax juz now.
man.. its such a nice horror show~!
lolz... rightz, the movie is scary
yes it is. but we make it even more...
'exciting'.. LOL! i screamed when alice scream!
n then su ting n sis jing lian oso!! lol

da funny part is we actually luff during the scary part.
cos i was like.. okok another scary scene coming UP!!
expected wane.. den they were like all laughing liao..
n indeed.. haha!!! funny sia.. great time catching up.

clueless wad to do tmr!!! i need to get smth frm town..
but arh.. i've got no money!! nvm, will try saving first.

k.. i needa studY! i really need to.

11:22 pm

wEEt! finally got myself a pair of spects!
haha... dum dumb bala. $110 can... not cheap!
finally get to see a super clear sight of my neighbourhood
it has all along been a blur jurong area.
right. great got back my visual sights.

woO~ lesson ended early!!! 1230 wOOTZ!
den went back wif maxie lor..
she think she small i scared sia.
ate long john, da person... dunoe y..
gave extra things la.. weird!!!

while walking home i see da sunshine daddy up dere...
so i decided. the pool is waiting for me!
so i went home.. changed den there i go.
the pool is mine!!! woo met this gal today.
she's gd as well. in fact faster den me.
i was thinking haf i lost speed or wad? stamina?
nvm. i'm willing to train.

o wells, neway. dat jason. my dream-guy was there.
was msg-ing maxie.. no fate la.!
shan't elaborate. he's jus da kind of guy i wish to haf.
but nah.. dun worrie aint interested in him. he's 30+
so.. yup! haha.. saw uncle dere..
was asking him to teach me new style. i wane to learn butter-fly
but den.. he wasnt in swimming trunks. so yup
he said why not i ask jason to teach..
i was like.. har.. DUN WANE! haha

k la.. neway had a great time swimming by myself.. arh
hehe.. k la till den.. cya! excited for cgm tmr! =D

11:58 pm

11:57 pm

i need to study. yup yuP!
sian.. working mon,wed,fri.
gonna request not to work for so many days arH!

k... anyway got lots of teasing today.
a.k.w.a.r.d is da word.
reallie regretted saying leh!! duh! -.-"

had long lessons today. sianzation.
dats abt it. love me? love me not?

9:49 pm

i am not nasty but dont force me to.
many a times, ppl ask me to do something really hurtful.
i choose not to. for eg. some1 called me a bitch.
classmates asked me to confront him i chose not to
i didnt wane akwardness to follow. so i didnt.

but there are juz so many things i chose not to.
bcos i value friendship but well.. if u take it
FORGRANTED. i am sorry i've got to be nasty.
i am forgiving yes in fact, i think i am VERY.
i get really pissed when ppl treat me da way
dat i simply should'nt even deserve.
u know.. its like!!! HELLO! i am a human being oso
i haf feelings! argH! fed-up. u know actually..
the way how u treat ppl esp when the some1 is at da lowest
dis kinda thing happen to dem. they wld even feel shaken.
its small lit things like tt that wld boil down to "BACKSLIDING"

okz, enough of scribbling my anger. i shall forgive.

met val for svc today, quite happy she came! hee! tho i dun show it.
i am. went for multiple svc today. but sad to say. i neglected da frnds
well. times we really overlook small little things.
i am sorry. i am selfish. only thought about myself.
*shakes head* no wonder why ppl ain't staying.

went back if miao aft strikeforce. tok bout CG stuff..
it reminded me of times when we were in w20. things were really
upside down. i dun deny. but well, there was still the joy of da lord in us
the fuhua-revival came in. when i myself didnt realisee..
i mean over-all its not dat bad. hers is juz like ours.

they didnt wane her leader to feel hurt. they haf so much to say.
but.. they know tt they should 'submit to their leaders'
well, helpless. i guess its really impt to pray for anointing n wisdom
to be upon oneself. when u're really rasing up.

Thank God for great leaders in our zone, monitoring us.
pulling us back when i was about to give-up
encouraging us. the smile, the hard-work are all recognised.
helping us grow, running the race wif us.
fighting the war wif us, step by step.
what more can i say: "THANK YOU LEADERS"

right i gif n i gif n i gif.
each time the message was given i am so challenged in my heart.
juz gif. if u gave and it didnt touch ur heart.
den it's not of a sacrifice. yup.
came wif quite a fat wallet. 5 bucks on cab.
offering. shan't mentioned. it did touch my heart.
fellowship. xiao en gave her best too. emptied her wallet.
i blessed her. xiao li too. guess she got not enough.
wOw.. i look into my wallet. the money they paid me back for alice's
prizzie are gone as well. wanted to get the Cd actually but i am really dry
den went to strikeforce. nad complained she's thirsty.
so went to get drinks. well i paid for it as well. arh!

really dry. depending on God for a miracle.

ok, i must emphasize: I HATE IT WHEN PPL THINKS DAT HEY U WORK!
PAY FOR ME! tt kinda mentality. juz to let u guys know i dun earn much.
in fact my pocket money depends mostly on da money i earn.
right.. i aint refering to any1 whom i mentioned earlier on.
so dun be mistaken. its juz a passing remark.

thinking of how to actually celebrate my 18th birthday.
i juz need more of God. i want him.
rightz.. dats all i guess. till den chill guys!

9:54 pm

ritex.. Here's me wishing lynne a very happy birthday!

phew~ her party is so havoc-ish...

i mean.. wow i guess dis is a once in a life-time experience for me

in da morning... met up wif maxie n went for a tan den swim

den we proceed to pizza hut n studied awhile. it ended up like..

we're taking pics instead of studying.. so yup aft dat..

went back to dress-up. rites. dress cum heels. real grand.

but.. hee! i lurve it. nervous bout wad am i suppose to say

cos.. phillipphines tradition of celebrating bdae is so diff!

mm lynne will pick out 18 candles n 18 roses.

da gals are the candles n da guys the roses.

initially suppose to pair up wif da guys to dance. man!

but thank God it was cancealed. cos due to time constraint..

den.. the moment i step in.. i saw.. mm.. kenneth. i haf all along

forgotten about him. i mean he look so gOOD! i was thinking hard who is he~!

den i realise. oh yeah dat guy whom ask lynne for my no wane.

i mean man! he's so super cute. plays the guitar, he dance, he's hot.

wOO but he's small la... he kept smiling n smiling but i dare not smile bk.

wOO! ppl dere so open. its looks more like clubing u know...

the whole place is like disco. they even played musical chair,

dance n dance.. so havoc! the gals are so 'bitchy' but i guess its

da way they present themself. OPEN. ok, nvm once in a life-time experience.

took pics like no body's buisness.. but was too tired to smile.

kenneth came n take pic wif us as well. man! cool..

oh yeah did i mentioned.. they are so pUNKY!! kept jamming..

but man.. their singing is awkful! totally 'tumbs down'

went ta play pool wif da guys at lot 1 aft dat...

haha team up wif jun jie, while eng hui n how kng another team.

sad to say. we lost. haha nvm la.. i beginner leh.

so yup.. bid goodbye. JJ walk me home. so sweet of him. =D

ritex.. dats all.. will upload pics soon! tC pEEpX!

1:47 am

riteX... lesson is more colourful.

woOtx~! luving everything dat i m doing nowadays.

fruitful.

felt quite bad today cuz i didnt go for svc.

i mean i wane to. but i've got to get zernalynne's stuff.

else.. i dun have the time. i mean i really..

want to do something really meaningful and memorable for her.

aint' gonna see her again man. so yup.

a really sweet mirror n chocker. plus this

flash n splash hp strap its reallie nice

m still thinking if i should gif her.

i mean.. i really like it. hee..

ok depends ok? haha.. well great time wif jocelyn.

gave me lots of ideas. bought myself a tong, a bag n oso a fox surf shorts.

yups all satisfied. sweetS! gonna ask my frnds!

u guys must come!!! svc is great! dun miss it! =D

looking forward to lynnie's bdae tmr! its gonna be grand!

woO~ be in my best tmr. dress cum heels? hey.. nv see b4 eh?

heh heh. yup! it'll come to pass tmr!

till den. miss me guys.

11:23 pm

slUrrrrP!!! hoTTie! my rOOm is brurning like a furnance!

wOO~ got a revaltion zip in my heart.. slowly frm a

small stove of fire slowly it becomes a camp-fire site..

wOO~ ain't it cOOL? believing in it. went for pst phil conference

its not jus cool. its "sudap!"

for a leader-wannabe! God here am i, send me.

yuPS, had a fun day today. i dunoe why la.

juz happie. Joy of da Lord! =D

cheErioS! i lurve studying.

11:51 pm

11:51 pm

yup, believe it or not. it is.
its up to you how you want to live ur life la.
no one can control you. yups!

talkings after talkings how boring can that be.
eeew~ i mean.. i kept kena those "counselling"
frm teachers. yup ok, i have been slacking!
i wane to do well. but yet i have got no motivation
something is just not there to push me.
maybe my constant encouragement frm zarah n all will boost me
somehow or rather. yup.

anyhow, i've got to buck up

pull up my socks? yeah..

i kept encouraging my fellow classmates to work harder!

but haha..

ain't easy. ainsly challenge me to beat me for my mid-yr..
ooo.. how interesting. i am gonna do well..
i can do all things tru christ who strengthen me!

9:54 pm

...mmm.... tired.
lack on motivation to work hardd.
the word frm ms esther really hit me:
"ur results plunge all the way down"
wOO.. how saddening can dat be?
to see me totally gone nuts bcos of
all those thingy dat hit me so badly.
ar.. i know dat saying is easy but
acting on it is indeed not so easy!
i'll try to forget yes i will.
since.. things are not working out.
and its wasting my time dwelling on it
betta get my bum moving on da right things.
pray for God to help me! Holy Spirit guide me.
i am lost. very lost. "lamb" lost, confuse..
HELP!!! i wane to study and i need to.
dun waste mum n dad's money for nuts!
shant get influence easily by da things of da world.
GOD SAY YES, YES AND AMEN.

(peace of God.. i seek after ya!)
chill..

11:01 pm

i ca ntwa it gow akrbo ar din g
im eanh owc oolc and at be!!
wOO~ shIOK shIOK!
tr yi ngt ow rit ein aw ayp eoplew ould
no tund erst and.
tellfoe mefoe whatfa youfoe wantfae mefoe dofoe!
itsfi sofo irfi rifi tafa tingfi!!!
eW~ *doing my toungue twister*

11:36 pm

awesome time of cell grp today..
tho there were really few pathethic souls
the atmospher was still as good. power pack.
dats because we were really hungy for God to enter
and praising was definately a sacrifice for us
can tell all the droppy eyes, tired soul
but well. . . we gave our best
3 cheers for e362!!

su ting's preaching was funny today.
ok, at least its a good laugh.
i don't like it when i don't even think its funny
but.. i've got to fake out the laughter
u know.. very 'the' fake ar!

so newayZ. went ta xiao en n xiao li's house
it was wet n wild! haha.. we wenta play squash.
it was fun indeed. finallie get to experience ok
call me a 'sua-gu' nvm. haha
den we proceed to suana.. phew~ xiao li.. LOUSY
after a very short while she couldnt take it..
went out..
i proudly walk out of the sauna room.. after FIFTEEN mins.
bOO.. was pespiring like KaraZee~
seems like i juz soaked myself in da bath tub.
yupx. went back to her house later when we met the security guard
she said: "wah! u all play squash or went to play in da rain"
we were like.. hur hur.. n walk away.. lolx. none of da above!
well, indeed a wet and wild experience. coOl..
need more of this kinda sessions. needa lose weight!

kz, today i juz feel so... after cell group.
like hui shan prophesy over me.
i am too overly sensitive over little things
when there's nothing for me to worry
i worry and think alot.
yup, dats me.. gotta conquer that.
i want to do more. i need more of the word.
i dun wane to stay stagnant. its not fun like this.
its boring christian walk. i wane to see more
i want to experience more. i shan't be afriad to do great things
everyone is moving on, wad am i doing. nothing.
i am gonna prove myself wrong. i'll start spending quality time
wif GOD, my heavenly father,
read the word so that i will of cos know more!
worship the lord. enter the lost world. hee! =D

working towards it. yehOO~ yum yum! SOLID LA.

dere's always a time and season for everything.

gonna study now! GOD gif me wisdom!

10:51 pm

alrite. peepz, wadeva dat u've seen.
its over. so dun ask me wad happen
unless i tell u. =D

o.. k.. life's gonna be good!
yeah? exams coming up..
i've got to buck up
and pull up my socks!
yeah! ppl stir me up!!
encourage me la..
heh!

kz.. tmr lessons are cancealed!
will onli needa attend the 1130 lesson
wooTX! aint it super cool?
btw, alice! my sch's cca hor..
make-up lesson la.. is taught by SUN's make-up artist leh!
sia la.. jealous boh? ahaha! =D

10:39 pm

yupX! i miss ya.. i cant deny.
i need time to get over all this.
sorrie for wad i've done.
make ya fall in love wif me
and den left u. ok bad.

now dat u're alone.
i am lost..
things change..
i am no longer happy
i feel uneasy when u're around
u say "hi" and "bye"
i ignored. sorry.

i always remember the moments we spent together
how you hold my hands
how you love me
how you kiss me
how much you care about me
how you spend time with me

thanks for the joy that you have given me.
the song u've written for me
the CD frm ur band
everything.

know, things haf change.
we don't seems like we are friends anyymore
we don't say hi and bye
the smell of your letter is gone.

when friends around me tell me negative things about u
i still choose to believe in you
but well. i see no point into it now.
its all gone.everything is gone. gone.

10:06 pm

10:05 pm

lalala~ happy sha la la...

ping ping an an
ping ping an an
hey! you ren qiao men
hey! you ren qiao men
shui yar? wo ar.
ni shi shui? wo shi ar!
ar.. ping ping an!

lolx.. k dis a reallie beautiful song..
cooL! but reallie l.A.M.E.
kz, yiPPy, woOtx..

lesson is boring..
wonder why are they like cutting so many lessons
i mean.. waste our money lar..
i rather haf lessons lor.. seriously..
dun waste my money n time here waiting for my lesson!
c'mon la.

bored in class. the frnds of mine
are ponn-ing more n more lessons..
i mean.. *SIANZ* is da word.
i proudly raise up my hand when tcher asked:
"WHO JUZ DUN FEEL SO ANSWERING MY QNS?"
i was like ME! wif my hands up-raised.
EW~ arh heck. dats part of da rebelious me.
bored in maths n phys n chem!
ow~ ppl!!! brighten up my sch days will ya?

met some1.. whom i reallie do miss.. i mean I MISS..
no more sms.. wadsoeva.. *tsk.. saw the blog..
eveything is gone.. Woosh~ rightz..
like poles will repel. -yuPX-

terrrrible.. ocs guys are so pervertic..
alrite, it might be reallie nice of dem to
say HI n BYE.. but.. oweLLS.. nahx.

O R G E Y... chiLL babY..

11:10 pm

fiinalLieee... bala is back! blogging..
the focuspokers dat was left untouch, abandon!
now revive! alice is da mastermind.
she helped me wif dis! tar-dar.
new blog, new image.. change!

oW~ things haf changed..
i've been tru some reallie rough patch
during my past few weeks.
phew~ its all gone now.
i am back on track! hee.. no worries! =)

wooTx. backie frm sentosa..
burning sensationZ!
burnX. ritex. chiLl guyX!

9:15 pm