the leader is like a coverage.
the stronger members are like the pillars.
So........ Faith has got Gladys and me as pillars to make the house stand strong and firm.(we're the bricks cememted to the ground, to make the house stand.
Thus, imagine a house with just 2 pillar. So, in order for us to stay strong, we need someone to take over so that we will not get worn out. If another 2 other pillars would evolve, so we have 4 pillars standing and going even stronger.
If need be, another pillar would then be raised to replace anyone who might fall anytime.
Yeah, somehow i picture this.


Well, i have tons and tons of opportunity in life.
I really thank God for it. Somehow, it has been overwhelming to the extent that i don't know how to reject them. It just seems too good to be true.
But again, i remember my leader told me: If someone offers you a fish, you'll definately take out the bones and eat only the meat. These applies to me! I munch the good ones, where i feel my talents and passions are, i cancel those that i think is not my calling. I just cant be greedy. learn to let go of some activities.


o well, i am sooo sooo sooo confused.Had a chat wif zhi wang and susan jus now. MAN OH MAN. I feel so burrden. Like carrying a boulder all by myself. Too many things at one go. Can God please stretch my time? Yeah, more time for more things. call me missy confuse

11:57 pm

i had so much fun this few days. driving me nuts.
teehee! mayb oso bcos i was jus kinda stress so let off my guts,sit back relax and enjoy.

didnt know a visitation would turn out like this. Over at brenda's place, my new friend's house. She's one of the coach from swim team. Man, i saw the most happening mum. She laughs out loud, she started dancing when the music is rolling. New age mother. I got a little worried when i was there. Knowing tt He can do little to protect. Yeah, so i relax and had some kinda fun. playing so silly games. getting all red and dizzy. Blood gushed through the moment i sip a lit of those champagne her dad has POPPED open. i couldnt take it so i poured the rest to shah. HAHA i crown him as my hero! my partner in the laughing disease. It's so contagious.

anyway, we got a lit high and excited after the drink. We played 5,10,15 the number game and whoever lose will have to drink, i didnt get any. Then.. we played the pokker and i kept drinking. Bottoms up. Man, it was driving me mad. Shah drove me home n i got all those dizzy spells.

msged zhi wang n asked for help. gave me some tips n i fell into lalaland. man, it's like so high n all. enjoyable night. but definately not with those hang-overs. tiring u know. :)

1:26 am

after the lion dance performance, the kids came out wif 4 chinese numbers as well.

haha, again the elders always felt that kids would be luckier.

SO... yup, judge it for yourself. ANY 4 digits u see? go try buying, maybe you might win a little during the grand draw?

little nicholas got kinda happy when daddy bought him this little toy lion.

1:03 am

wooow woooow woooow...

visitation is taking a toll on me. Gawd.
lots of angbao this yr tho..!
it has been rushing to and fro from place to place.
man, i am enjoying myself only to a small extent.
seeing the faces of many, catching up and all.

However, things changed alot i guess..
so many.. ermm i call them "politics" in my huge family tree.
every family has their BIg problems. N i go WHAT!
N many times i just wonder how on earth can i cope in life.
i am too reliant on my parents.
I think i give up easily. I look at my dear cousin and my grandma.
it's not easy and i told my mum, i'll give up if such thing happen on me.
she told me off.. Arhh! I mean, my heart sank when i saw granny today.
i am trying to stay optimistic. owell..
ppl, pls pray for both cousin and granny's speedy recovery.

Holidays NOW! n i tell u, i got like so many things to do but yet i choose not to do. Work? if it comes, den thank God. But apart from that maybe i'll just wanna stay free and drop by anytime i can.
Argh. i jus wanna hide at home. HAH. depression? No la.
Just let me rest and clear my thoughts.

erm how should i describe my feelings..
I guess i am just too shock to say a thing. just so cofused and all.
everything happened too quickly and life is oOowell, so fragile.
treasure it. N politics.. GO! ahh..

i wanna hide jus hide.
or maybe ... date me out to distract me. :)

Labels: staying optimistic

10:15 pm

It's new year eve! the hassle and buzzer of cleaning up, getting ready for reunion dinner...
so many things so many things to be done! I am getting so excited already to see my reltaives and all. But owells, it started off with so many bad news! N i am sure it'll affect every body's mood.

While on the way to go get the paint wif my dad ytd, he accidentally knock onto this carpark bend(or whatever u call it) den smash! the rear window goes cracking! My oh my.. it was as though a Big HOLe in both daddy's and my heart. Heart pain u know! But ya la.. nvm. willl get it change after CNY.

Went home started painting and everything.. oh anyway, it's RED! kinda freaky! but i like.. haha. then the real bad news came.

*words has been changed. Just a brieft one.

Cousin called.. Hello uncle?
Dad: yar. how can i help?
cousin: My sis contracted blood cancer. (leukemia.)
Dad: WHAT? she's only so young?! Can that be cured?
cousin: Yar exactly. we discovered it when we kept witnessing her pale looks. I am not sure if it can be cured.
Dad: oh dear, could that be inherited?
Cousin: I have check the internet and they say it's not inherited. Anyway, none of us has it so the chances of inheritance is low. Grandma has got high blood pressure, all this would be inherited but not blood cancer. I got no idea how she contracted this disease.
Dad: aiyoh, then how.. are you guys having reunion dinner?
Cousin: unlikely. Everybody is not in the mood. Few days later, she has to undergo chemotheraphy.
Dad: oh, that must cost a bomb man!
Cousin: yeah alright, we don't have a choice. Just hope she'll be alright.
Dad: yar, hope so too.

Oh well, bad news No.2 N b'cos they are my closest cousin over my dad's side. We are kind of affected as well. Financially they might have a big problem there. Just pray she'll be fine. N hopefully CNY goes as usual over there.

Today... while i was happily happily shopping wif mummy at seng shiong, the moment we came home i saw my uncle at the lift door, so i happily greeted him. HI UNCLE! he gave me that sick look. N i go.. WHY? u're sick.. he just kept quiet. Being the curious me, i wakl over to mummy's side and realised she's talking to someone in the car.. I realised it's grandma! i greeted her and woe i see a commotion. I jus remain silent and i saw a pissed off look on my another uncle. Off they went. I then bug mum to tell me wad happen bcos i simply cannot understand what they were talking about. (language-barrier)

She's going to the hospital b'cos she cant eat. She vomits out everything and the fact that she is hungry. She kept panting and panting like some asthma attack. She's just feeling no good and might have to stay over at the hospital. I tell you, i am super worried. Tonight would be a reunion dinner without grandma and i am sure everyone elses would be affected.

So, something happen over mummy's side and now something happen over daddy's side.. ARGH. NO more of such nonsense pls....... Can i just stay young and healthy with no dieases and live life as it is like NOW? Oh God, protect my love ones!! :)

3:11 pm

ILLY: My heroine! haha! tell ur boyfriend, i'll miss his presence can. So super duper sweet. MAN! I love u tons n tons leh. my first gigglish mate in class. woe hoo! my photo-shop heroine, my VB-codes cracker, my exchange shoe/slipper maddo gal. the every sweet lit thang, i love u babe!

Van: haha. scary can...... yeah yeah. The fear in singapore is bad enough, to think i'll be going there!!! wooo~ God blesss!n i am gonna see u for svc onthe.. when? HAHA.

JAnny: yeah, so many pics! headache ah. i was going through the pics i took and thinking of which to develope.. sia la.. few hundreds. select till the cows go home. -.-

von von: reallie? eh which part? hows ur experience? wif who? eh CNY!!! excited? hahaha, i am excited cos dat means i can meet up wif u guys again!!! yar, so much of catching up to do!

Pasti: Yes, ms ballerina-wannabe but cannot be. Opps. HAHAHA! pasti, dun be mad at me, can la, go dance more k... next time i see ballerina stuff i buy for U ah! hahaha! make sure i see u for chalet ah!!!I'll drop by holland V. soon!

sunshine shawny: ehehehe, apologise, dun be mad la. U're the sunshinest guy u know! (apart form my friend, aileen) U're also the craziest friend i ever had, so dun take tt to heart! HAHAHA shawny i am so gonna miss u laaaa!!! let's get mad during chalet again! HAHAHA

n HI peeeepZ! I love you, you love me, we are happy family....
weEeee~ CNY!!!! means ang paos!!!

2:50 am

There has been this ga-ga craze thingy going on in my gang of india(kerala matey)

we just go around greeting people HAPPY BIRTHDAY! when it's absolute not their birthday!

So anyway, the point is.. we like it when we say.. HAPPY 30th or any year older than what the person should be. HAHA. tried once on a faci.. we sang her a birthday song.. she went blank. -.- Then we ended off with saying happy 30th birthday. She pengz.




okay. anyway this post is dedicated to my dearest sister also my goody bestest friend, cum my buddy in time of need, the one i can say is just my AWESOME friend. We eat together, grow fat together, shed those fats together, (east coast running, blading) hear my cries and come to the rescue everytime without fail. (except for once, during her As) MUAHAHA!



N, we shared this diary.. LOL! It's really amazing how we came so far.. From the MIRC to the today great pals!Although, we may not be the longest friend ever, but u're definately my closest-friend, my EVERYTHING! :)


someone whom is so true, although she hides many personal stuff and family issues to herself, BUT but but.. she's still the strongest, the brightest, sunshiny gal, (even brighter den SUNSHINE SHAWNY ) the smiliest and the one who never fails to sit down and listen to all my problems and give you the best suggestion and to wake me up everytime. n the list goes on yea..I just wanna tell u I LOVE U TONS N ZILLIONS! I pray this entry touches your heart when you read this!! WAHAHAHAHA!! Hope you enjoyed ur party yea! ;0



p/s: apologises for not being able to make it for ur bdae party.

2:27 am

Happy V' Day to one and all!

new car is here! *applause* bird and ali quickly get ur license.. n let's drive to expo! wahah
ok, random. i am bored. n i hate going meetings! b'cos its always clashing wif other activities!

i am kinda regretted signing up for the india trip bcos...... i hate it esp it's warm and everything! I heard it's going to be hotter than Singapore! n da thing is..... i cant wear sleevless! everyday it's gonna be long pants/jeans and tee, no V cut or sleevless and strictly no shorts, else they'll mistook us as prositutes! man, i am so gonna die there! Oh gawd. Nnnn, to add on, i am the only chinese gal among them. N argh! i am so dead. I am so gonna cling on to the cheena guys!

Anyway, i was with jespreet at little india, she taught me some things. HOw to differentiate between an indian india and a singaporean india. And man, i still cant get it. It's like how they indian cant differentiate a singaporean chinese and a chinese from china. Yeah, i am gonna master it! Just a feel of little india really did got me a little drowsy.. and yeah just a feel of little india is just a small percentage of what i am going to see in the real india that i am going in less than a month's time. Oh i pray! God. make it a good trip. 2 weeks.. my longest holiday ever, and the hottest country ever i visited. Hope everything turns out fine.

amelia enjoy ur trip!!! ;) n come back soon wif thoseeeeee.......... hot stuff! hah. i am off!

1:05 am

12:05 am

i've got a million pics to post. but arhh.. lazy and troublesome.
anyway, like i said i was walking my brunei cousins around few days ago..
they were like marvelled at the sight of Jurong Point. one of our very small mall in SIngapore.
they told me there's only like 4 malls in brunei? they hated the Mck here cos they we provide garlic chilli and dun provide the normal chilli sauce. They think singapore is moving too fast.

As a matter of fact, i think it has somehow been my normal daily routine of being BUSY. I am sure that applies to everyone elses. Every day would be rushing and fighting with time. One cannot deny that time is money, especially in Singapore.

That fine day, we took a bus 187 home. Well, apparently we miss the stop because they were too slow, before we reach the door, the bus sped off. It was then i turn to them and said now you see a fast paced moving country? Time is indeed money. And he concluded that MAN, LIFE IS SO TOUGH in singapore. I ought to get some rest.

I describe to him my hectic day today. I told him i was proud of myself that i actually did so many things today! Like woe! AWESOME! anyway, i am having an OFF day tomorrow. i am gonna stay home to do my spring cleaning while the rest of u guys would happily go celebrate ur HAPPY V'DAY yea! HAHA! enjoy people!!

11:39 pm

cool cool cool. the swim team!
It's like the coolest thing at least to me.
i was amazed by how they held their lessons. thinking back of days when i would have to swim laps after laps with those boring pull and those.. EH EH EH, ur hands, ur chin n all those stroke correction! haha i tried doing the pajamas thingy. Woe. awesome! I miss those days.

n i tell u its such a joy to see the happy faces on those kids. everybody knows everybody! It's really a very family kinda place to be in. the coaches are nice, very friendly people and.. HOT. haha! tho kinda old but still.. HOT! mayb dat explains why i am enjoying there. HAHA. zhi wang is hot himself k. n dat explains why his fellow friends kept teasing him. Mr. down to earth guy. n zw if u're reading this. jus wanna say thank you, thanks for bringing me in. =)

Just one thing is, i am kind of skeptical whether i should join them, reason being: I am afraid i cant commit and do not want to sabotage zhi wang. In addition, i would be stuck and yeah i dun like to be stuck at one place. so yeah, i am in a dilemma. Someone advice me please.

N yeap. i had a nice outing wif my cousins. Tony is back from brunei to settle some stuff in singapore, being the very nice cousin, he treat me to dinner! HAHA. so yeah, together with tony and sonny, we went walking around. N MAN, JP to them is like WOW. they didnt know that place, so it was a touring around kinda thingy.. any cyber cafe in jurong area GUYs? yeah, i myself am clueless tho. SO yeah, we took a bus and we miss our stop, were too slow. HAHA!

so yeah so much so for today's entry. service and wakeboarding tmr. BYE PEEPz!

11:25 pm

I AM BACK IN ACTION! yay.

let me talk about SINGAPOREANS! in depth details; typical singaporeans.
reason being: i have been working with stella for this survey job and i have learn many things purely through observing. HAHA

OBSERVATION #1: Singaporeans are very practical, they prefer walking to people giving free gifts then to someone asking them questions.

SCENARIO: HI SIR... can you help me do a survey just 3 question.. SORRY NOT FREE. This chinese man walks away to the lady whose giving out free newspaper written in tamil. LIKE WHAT?!

OBSERVATION#2: They deliberately avoid (shun) you so that you would not have the chance to talk to them.

SCENARIO: They show you the i am in the rush action and walk off. When simply i know It's excuse! LIKE COME ON! you are walking sooooo slowly. Would i believe you are in a rush?

OBSERVATION #3: If EVERYBODY is in a rush, then that goes to show how pathethic singaporeans are when it comes to meeting people/client or whatever. So everybody is late for their appointment?

SCENARIO: After work, walking home or walking to the MRT station, they give you the NOT FREE with the palm to your face.. n people like melvin will say (IN YOUR FACE) the i am not free and cannot be borthered with your surveys. TSK TSK*

OBSERVATION #4: Doing surveys on the streets and being spotted by friends is very PAISEH*

SCENARIO: Yesterday i saw zhen long with girlfriend while i was approaching someone, so yeah i was not free to talk to them so yeah they were like starring at me and can i tell you i was very paiseh? HAHA. then, today i saw lewis and nataniel and i go.. MAN give me a hole to dig pls. Yeah, i admit i am one typical singaporean who thinks going on the streets and doing things tt people hate to do is embarrassing.

OBSERVATION #5: SINGAPOREANS pretend not to see you when you are holding a clipboard.

SCENARIO: stella and me was laughing at some of their expressions when they rejected us, so we tried something stupid which is.. purposely hold on to the clip board stand about 3m apart and see whoever dares to walk through us. N surprisingly, people SHUN us at the sight of those clipboard.*roll eyes* ARE WE REALLY DAT IRRITATING?

In conclusion, SINGAPORENS JUST HATE DOING SURVEY, they just cannot be bortherd to do such thing because behind all this nonsense there's definately gimmicks! If i were to tell you, hey come down and help me do a survey i pay you 50 bucks. Would you come down? You will RIGHT? see, practical singaporeans. But owells, it cant be help, cos we live in this country whereby everything we talk about is money and more money, cant help it to be practical!

It's like too good to be true.

10:27 pm

i cant believe i am doing a fund raising..
reason being.. the other time when we were discussing for our thailand trip.
it just seem so impossible, so difficult to get approval and everything.
amazingly, with the help of facilitators, things went on smoothly and inspite of the many hiccups, everything went on well and it jus seem incredible.

Over at agora selling pop corns, candy floss, pop corn chicken, indian accessories and henna painting. woe.. it's kinda cool when you see so many different people being put in charge of the different task and coming altogether to put up so many different items. It's just awesome!

however, physically i am tired and just restless. I am feeling kinda sick and yeah, i am gonna give up. Woke up and saw an sms. N i go arh! GIVE ME A BREAK! yeah i am about to fall! n ya i mean it. mentally, physically spiritually TIRED. yeah. HELP. i wanna scream!

i need a rest. yeah. BIGTIME. :)

1:32 pm

9:54 pm

day has been achy and drainning..
barely could open my eyes..
drag myself to school again! GOD.

bum those achy butt on the chair. n got cracking.
drainning day wif a relief teacher trying to blend in to the class's culture.
OOowells. stayed on to wait for tt polo tee..
Oowell, shant mention. heck care.

rush for tuition since i know i am super late for meeting wif zhi wang by da pool.
den rush off after tuition. supposed to reach the place by 7pm.
to think tt i ended tuition at 720pm. a BIG SIGH.
rush down n MAN! it took a long way. it was train down lakeside and bus..
i waited like super long for the bus. den i decided mayb i should jus make a detour.
it aint gonna look good on me. Seems like i fly him aeroplane for 2 weeks?
n yeah, it really doesnt reflect well. So yeah, probably next week.
if not totally give it a miss...

so when i went home. i was a little upset wif myself.
jus a little..... a litt stress.. just a little..! a litt worried.. just a little for mark.
a little.... tired. yeah just a little...

N DEN! guess wad... wif my monotonous HI MUM......
dad told me.. u better go learn your driving license quick!
cos now u will have to complain.. GOT CAR NO LICENSE.
n i was like WHAT?! CAR?! dad says...... YES! mum is getting a car!!
n i go YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so.. arh i need like so super long to get a license la...
n i'll be dying to drive dat car!! yippe! so exciting!! wed gg down wit stella to book the date.
maxie here i come! WAHAHA!

biathalon tmr.. n town!! stella melvin.. service.. n supper wif jun jie n eng hui! YAYA! it better be good tmr! :)

10:42 pm

11:55 am